Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Happy Holidays, you have no job

I lost my job last week. I'm coming to terms with the fact that it's ultimately not my fault, and that I was miserable at the place anyway, but after a vacation to Portland (I will never move back), I am coming back to the "real' world and remembering that I don't have a job. I also used half my income from my project management job to pay rent & living costs and the other half to pay down debt. I have some small debts left, but I have hardly any savings.

*sigh*

I have a $30/week writing offer, which I will accept, but other than that, I'm applying to jobs all over (ALL OVER) and trying not to let the money-based stress overtake me. I'm taking my medications, trying to keep my depression at bay, but I'm worried. I have no appetite, I only want to sleep, I feel like losing myself in reality TV, and I'm striving not to pull away from everyone and everything. A and I have talked about rejoining a gym together (thank you to The Biggest Loser, perhaps?) and have a few creative outlets I can use to help.

*sigh*

Money is tight for me. A knows it and is going to be supportive, I have faith in that. However, I don't like to depend on someone for help in just keeping my head above water. So I apply. My goal is another 100 jobs before the weekend ... which will make almost 250 jobs in the past two weeks. 250 jobs and I've not received a single call back from them.

*sigh*

I need my friends right now.
I need my friends to remind me that it will get better.
I need my friends to support me as I pull away and get quiet.
I need my friends to share more love with me now than ever before.
I need my friends right now.

5 comments:

  1. This will get better. You will be okay. I promise. I'm here, no matter what, 24/7. If that means DM's, cool. If that means gchat, no problem. If that means phone calls, give me your number. I'm here. I love you. I believe in you. <3

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  2. @Chibi - thank you. I'll DM you my number just because. Are you a texter? Are you able to be a texter in that foreign country up there? <3

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  3. Can't go anywhere but UP right???? RIGHT??????

    (((HUGS)))

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  4. Hey, we still doing tea on Saturday?

    Any word on the unemployment stuff?

    You'll be okay. I promise.

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  5. It'll get better:
    Things work out in the end--if they haven't worked out, it's not the end yet. ;p

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